Monday, April 16, 2007

Jack Bauer Tally: Hours 15, 16 and 17

Even though I've been out of town and busy (cruise, we'll get to that in a future post), Jack's been hard at work.

In Hour 15, Jack tracked down the guy who was trying to hack into the security protocols for a nuclear power plant, and managed to find out that it was actually his autistic brother doing the hacking. To insure the meet went down with Gredenko to transfer the data, Jack used Autistic Brother as bait. After a brief shootout, including a shot through the window of an open car door, Jack captured Gredenko and used Gredenko to get a location on Fayed. Bonus point for a shot through the window.

The CTU guys injected Gredenko's left arm with a radioactive tracer and let him meet Fayed at the Santa Monica Pier. Gredenko dumped his wire and had Fayed's guys cut off his arm with the marker in it so that he couldn't be tracked. Fayed and Gredenko went to leave through a bar, at which point Gredenko ratted out Fayed and the bar patrons charged him, Fayed shot a couple of them but unaccountably his gun was empty after a couple of rounds and Fayed was subdued. Gredenko got away in the melee and died under the pier. On the way into Fayed's meet-up spot, Jack capped a couple of bad guys, including a called headshot (Jack's actual words were "Show me your head"). Bonus for the called headshot.

Jack realized he couldn't torture Fayed to cough up in time (torture really doesn't work for this sort of thing, particularly on True Believers), so he and Mike Doyle set up a false-flag operation to get Fayed to talk. One of the CTU agents pretending to be on Fayed's side made the mistake of giving him a loaded pistol, and well, that ended badly. To secure Fayed's cooperation, the President bullied the Ambassador of Unnamedistan into threatening to kill a General arrested for complicity in the Fayed attacks by threatening to kill his kids. Apparently there was a code word exchanged, so Fayed killed the team that was with him, shot a garbageman and stole a truck, heading off to meet with the rest of his team and get the last two bombs.

Jack secreted himself under the truck and right next to the transmission, which made it hard for him to be heard when he radioed CTU. When the truck arrived at the destination, Jack neck-snapped the flunky detailed to guard the truck, shot the last five guys and ended up going hand-to-hand with Fayed when both of their pistols were empty. After taking yet another beating, Jack managed to sling a chain around Fayed's neck and winch him to his asphyxiatory demise. Bombs secured, world saved.

And then came the call from the one person Jack actually wants to kill: the Chinese guy who kidnapped him in the first place, and who has Audrey Raines in his evil clutches. According to the previews, Jack's going to have to fight CTU and everybody to go after Audrey, something tells me the Chinese are going to offer to trade her for him. The stage is set for the last six hours, and something tells me that by the time Jack is done the list of "Greatest Killers of the Chinese People" will go something like this:

1. Mao Zedong.
2. The Empire of Japan, 1931-1945 (tie)
2. Jack Bauer (tie)
4. Bubonic plague.

Technical Notes

1. Never give someone you don't trust a functional pistol. Removing the striker and/or firing pin is a good way to make a pistol look usable but in actuality be completely useless, other than as a way to club people at close range. Unprimed, unloaded ammo (i.e., a bullet in an empty case) is another option. Given the short period of time available, you can disassemble a Glock and remove the striker within 5 minutes, that's the route I would have gone.

2. The CTU folks would have been better served with a radiotracer like FDG, a tracer used in PET imaging. It's a sugar analogue that is taken up all over the body within half an hour, and the energy it produces is pretty high -- 512 kEV. This means it will be emitted right though walls, etc., it's pretty active and it can't be defeated by cutting off an arm. Half-life is relatively short, but it would be enough for a properly-equipped airborne detector to spot for a couple of hours.

3. Jack and Fayed both shot their pistols empty. Jack should have been carrying a spare magazine, or the "New York Reload" of another pistol. When yours goes empty, just pull out #2 and get after it. Jack should know better. Concealed carry people: YOU ARE UNDERDRESSED IF YOU DON'T HAVE A SPARE MAG.

The Score so far:

Biting A Carotid9.0 -1 for lack of Universal Protocol
Shooting Curtis-8-10 own goal, +2 neck shot over a hostage
Shooting guard while handcuffed7.0+2 for while handcuffed
Handgun6.0+1 for saving hostages (Milo & Graeme's wife)
Handgun7.0+2 for disarm
Handgun6.0+1 for suppressor, because suppressors are cool
Handgun6.0+1 for suppressor
Handgun6.0+1 for through car window
Handgun10.0+5 for called headshot
Neck Snap7.0Always cool.
Handgun5.0Fayed henchman
Handgun5.0Fayed henchman
Handgun5.0Fayed henchman
Handgun5.0Fayed henchman
Handgun5.0Fayed henchman
Length of Chain8.0Strangled Fayed

Jack's getting back on track, Hour 17 is pretty much midseason form for prior seasons.

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