Friday, May 19, 2006

Something Else To Worry About

A bulletin has gone out about a new-generation gun built to look like a cell phone. It's made of heavy-duty plastic and is difficult to identify as a firearm by casual inspection or metal detection, and fires four .22LR rounds when cocked and when appropriate keypad numbers are pressed. A video of the operation of the phone is available along with a longer article here. Apparently they're being made in the Balkans. Those crazy Balks!

Just in case you think you may have been sold a Cell Phone Gun by accident, here's a Top Ten List to help you out:

Top Ten Ways To Tell You've Been Sold A Cell Phone Gun:

10. Under 'dead areas' in service agreement, it says "head or heart, within about 10 feet".
9. Aftermarket chargers are made by 'Remington'.
8. Comes with earplugs instead of earbuds.
7. Breakdown of monthly service charges include section for 'ammo'.
6. If you bought it used, the guy who sold it to you was bleeding and missing an ear.
5. Firm instructions in the manual to not answer the phone while asleep or taking antihistamines.
4. Phone has no camera, but manual talks a lot about 'sight picture'.
3. After a year, the phone company wants you to upgrade to 'centerfire'.
2. The terrorist beside you on the plane tells you his new phone is smaller and fires more bullets.
1. You have the loudest ringtone, ever.


Val said...

I guess the brain tumors weren't fast enough. By the way, I really am blogging from my phone. I'd better turn on the safety.

The Troy Stirman Family said...

Bad Ad Slogans:

This phone's all the rage...
Reach out and "tap" some one.
The new "Terrorist" Treo...
All new Sprint "Suicide"- first time's a charm!
The Alltel "Akbar Allah Aladdin" the first jihadist in camp to own one.

Color Choices:

Desert Tan, Digital Green
Camo, Olive Drab
Gunmetal Grey, Bloody Brown
Flat Black, Ruthless Red
Matte Black, Hunter Orange
Glossy Black, Urban Grey
W.M.D. White, Stealth Silver
Mullah Maroon, Muhammad Mango
Paradise Pink, River Runs Red
Fireball Fusia, Flame Yellow